Mom didn't quite know what to think of me. I was much larger than she expected. She was kinda glad I was cut out instead of... squeezed.
Mom says Big Brother Z doesn't know it yet cause he is still a youngen, but by the time I'm in about the 2nd grade he will much more into me. She then said something about being tired for some MFing Snakes on a MFing plane. Must be a private joke.
I started out a bit yellow but I soon got over that. Mom woke me up every two hours (how rude) and made me eat until it flushed away. Of course I showed her... I made her spend at least 30 minutes waking me up to get me to eat. Now I spend more then that letting her get me to sleep. Wrapped around my finger she is. In my clutches she is.
I come by my chins honestly. But really... mom and I both were plump in the beginning. I got smaller. We both still have a few extra chins but hers will be gone soon and mine will be in a few years. Mom already looks so different. So do I.
I came home kinda chunkie and I had some good tasting fingers.
I yawn a lot. It seems to make mom happy so I keep it up.
This was after my first bath. Mom wasn't so hot at it and I let her know. She waited until I calmed down to take my picture.
Sometimes I get excited and bounce around. I just have to shout about it.
Mom says this bear has traveled more then most people she knows. I believe she calls him Bear Bear but I can't be sure. She said he is good at hiding stuff and has been kidnapped and held for ransom. She says I'll be bigger then he is before long and that I'll travel even more then he has. I hope I age better. She also says she loves me but I should pick my own Bear Bear. He is taken.
Mom insists that I am cute when I am naked. I like being naked but for some reason she insists on putting clothes on me. It makes me so mad. Leave me be woman! I like to be naked! She says I must really be hers then. Usually she says I am too pretty to be hers.
This cat said "Hi. My name is Zero." He seems to like me but I'm not too sure. He wants space in moms lap too and sometimes he gets the boot if I need more space. Mom says we will be friends one day and when I am older he will follow me around because he is a puppy cat. That is assuming she lets him live. He does knock on the doors during the night wanting in and out. She screams at him. "You are either in or you are out!" I have a feeling I'll hear that one day too. Let's hope she doesn't squirt me with the water bottle like she does him. If she does it will probably have about the same effect.
She likes to put me in prison inside this thing she calls a swaddle. It is warm and cozy but depending on the color, I look like a glo worm. Sometimes I'm a strawberry, sometimes I'm a banana, sometimes I'm a pea pod. But always I'm comfy. She just got me a new one that is of a different design that makes me look like I have wings when not wrapped. She says I'm a little angel. I'll show her.
Mom says this is my Fonzie impression. I don't know who this Fonz is but I'm guessing she is pretty cool.
She tells me I simply must stop kicking the covers off of me. "Talk to the hand woman!" I say in my best Stewie impression. Covers are for sissy babies.
Mom likes to eat Mexican food. A lot. In this picture I am pleading with Aunt Donna to make her stop. There is only so much avocado, lime, peppers and onions I can handle on tap. Aunt Donna is not very helpful. Turns out she loves it too. At least mom doesn't give me that green slush stuff on tap like Aunt Donna chugs by the pitcher full. It looks like that stuff in the barrels on the Toxic Avenger.
Seriously mom... you HAVE to stop with the Mexican food. Stop blaming yours on me and I'll stop blaming mine on you. We shall each claim our own. Better yet, get me a puppy. We will blame it on him.
I am practicing being shy here. Seeing as how well... I'm not. I have to start somewhere. Besides that I thought this outfit looked like the wallpaper in Willie Wonka. I was trying to lick a Snazberry.
Another perfect example of how I am far too pretty to have been the hatchling of the evil host that calls herself mom.
Mom simply must get a better camera. I am happy but I'm not blurry. Geesh.
Not only should mom invest in a better camera she should learn how to use a computer. When attempting to remove my red eye she made it look like some smuck sucker punched me. As if. I do always have red eyes though. Some would say it is because they are blue and they show up red in pics because of that but I know the truth. (Insert evil laugh).
Mom doesn't let me sleep like this on my own. She says she is worried I'll fall on my face and stop breathing. I can't wait until I can sleep like this on my own. I'll be strong one day. This is my favorite position. This is how I fall asleep when mom lays beside me and I eat her flesh. This time when she got up to go pee, I stayed in place. She got pics before I tumbled over. She loves this sleeper with all the brightly colored mushrooms. She wants one in her size. Good luck finding that one Fatty McFatty. All Things Groovy doesn't sell PJ footies for grown ups. Pity, says mom. She really wants some footies.
Again woman... new camera.
See this lovely blue fleece sleeper? Well, it is purple. Bright purple. Everytime mom puts this thing on me she prances around singing about building a snowman. She says we can make him tall or we can make him not so tall. Snowman. I think she is wacked in the head and I give her this look quite often.
Mom may be right about Zero. He is soft. At least for now. At this rate he will be as bald as me soon. Mommy says he is old but I'm not old and I'm practically bald. Grownups don't make any sense at all.
Some good last minute shots of me today. I've been a boogar head for two days and mom keeps sucking out my brain with this bulb looking thing. I'm not real fond of it but it does help me breath. She seems to think it is a game and especially finds it pleasing when a long string comes out.
She doesn't know how I can get any cuter. I'll show her.
Mom and I watched Obama give the speech at the Mall. Mom told me how she had been there in the same spot were all those bazillion people were watching Obama become president. She told me about the silence at the Vietnam memorial wall, told me about organized protests and about love and food you eat with sponges sitting on the floor and all manner of things. Mom got all emotional during his speech. When he said that just 60 years ago his father may not have been able to (and now I don't remember exactly what he said) but today he is president mommy cried. She wants a world without prejudice and without hate. She wants a world like he said... where people of all faiths can respect each other, accept differences and find common ground. Mommy wants a good world for me. I think I'll keep her.
